Stumbling onwards

Stumbling onwards

Nostalgia-pain is due, but
Having hosted revenge-hate
I feel surprise-relieved
At change’s buoyant state

Deep breathing and plyometrics
Aid this process from slipping
Into self-harming and despair
As enlightenment encroaches

As a final blow is due
The graceful coup de grâce
Is but a second milestone
Making today a fulcrum

A pivot to the future
Amid echoes from the past
Reminding me of failure
In its multitudinous forms.

Dominant structures

Dominant structures

Soft tissue
Interconnecting nodes
Activation levels
Electrical chemistry
Amalgamating matter
Based on repetition
Based on imprinting
Frequency conditioning
Intensity defining

Can I learn my way
Out of this box?
Inside it’s complicated
Less capable than capacity
Insufficient to grasp itself
More responsible than I have to be
Less deserving of redemption
Yet hot in its pursuit

More to show for it maybe
But why make responsible
An organ so open to influence
A shot of drugs
A hit of alcohol
I meditate deeply
Falling inescapably